So, I'm sat in the office and really should be working, but I can't stop thinking about my daughter..
Daisy was born 15 months ago with an undiagnosed case of Spina Bifida, Hydrocephalus and a type II Arnold Chiari malformation, in my head I can still play back every second of the day she was born, still feel every emotion I felt that day, the joy, the fear, the sorrow, the anger.. All of those emotions can come rushing back so powerfully that I can't even think..
Hearing "she's alive, but she's not perfect" are not the words you expect to hear in a labour theatre..
So, whilst still reeling from that shock, the head of paediatrics at Worcester Royal Infirmary sat down with Em and I, well, half of Em, she was under the influence of some rather marvellous narcotics at the time, and said "So, you know about the Spina Bifida"
:blank face:
"Oh, right, ok, your baby has Spina Bifida, it's quite serious, it's unlikely that her bowels or bladder will work properly, her legs won't work and it's likely that she'll have intelligence problems"
:blank face:
"So, I'll leave you to it, someone will speak to you about how we'll be moving forwards"
:blank face:
You could have smashed me in the face with a lump hammer and I doubt I would have noticed..
The following 28 hours were a bizarre mixture of yet more emotions and unfortunate phrases, I never want to hear someone say "right, you can kiss her goodbye now" again as long as I live..
I could carry on with the blow-by-blow account of those 28 hours, but I fear it will rake up the embers rather than serve as the catharsis I intended this to be.. What I can do is say that 15 months down the line Daisy is a gorgeous, gregarious, happy, friendly, smiley, funny, intelligent girl, who, with the help of some Piedros, is standing very well and covering distances in the house behind her walker.. I fear it won't be long until she is walking, then all hell will break loose no doubt! She's learning words, going off to find things when we ask her to, has an unhealthy love of cbeebies (although, to be fair, I do like Zing Zillas and Chuggington!) and loved by everyone she comes into contact with..
I can only hope (and pray I guess) that she continues doing as well as she's done so far, proving people wrong is one of my favourite activities, it would seem that it's one of Doodles' favourites too...
Sorry to go on, I just had to get that out of my head...
