The Catharsis Post..

OK, so admittedly it’s a little early in the year to be doing a retrospective, but it’s been a rather crazy year, I’m going to do it anyway… Partially as catharsis, partially in case anyone is bored enough to read it and to an extent because I just want to write this down..

The year started differently to previous years, My Wife was pregnant, my parents weren’t in the country, and I was rapidly approaching 30…  So I felt a little strange as we entered the new year..  It’s peculiar for a nigh-on 30 year old guy to miss his folks, but it was the first time we’d been separate for a Christmas, and I guess you only realise how much you’d miss something when it isn’t actually there…   Having that on my mind, and wife 6 months gone made my head spin a touch, but with a little Christmas “spirit” things were overcome..

As the year progressed, all was simple, the baby was due early April, a busy season of drag racing was planned and the 30th birthday would be glossed over as a non-event..

Fast Forwarding through the year to late March, the 27th to be precise, our world was turned upside down.  At about 0130 I was woken by my Wife who was suffering the beginnings of labour, by 0400 a bath had been had, drinks made and bags checked .. We popped out for a walk (joined by the cats) at 0445 ish.. Strangely enough, we didn’t walk very far, with contractions coming every 5-10 paces it was obvious that things were imminent, a couple of calls to the hospital and we were shortly on our way. 

Pushing the buzzer for admission at exactly 0600.

A couple of midwives, nurses and an Obs/Gyn Registrar later, it became worryingly apparent that the impending addition to the Perry family wasn't exactly sat where she should be and that a "C-section" was required.. We suspect it was at this point that something slightly more worrying was spotted. So, with the decision made at 0800 we were off to theatre.. Well, I say we, I was running out to the car park to get the bags and make frantic phone calls..

Back from the car park and changed into my rather fetching blue scrubs, I find myself sat on a chair next to the theatre bed whilst Wife is receiving her Spinal Block (I think they turned it up to 11).. All of a sudden, there appeared to be far more people in the theatre than I thought was necessary for a simple C-section (because I've obviously been in this situation many times before and am wholly aware of the work force and resource management required for labour wards?!?!).. but anyway, we were joined by a lovely anaesthetist (Tim) who talked us gently through everything that was happening... Tom, one of the surgeons, then popped in and things became confusing..Tim, Tom, Tim, Tom... erm... anyway, many other people joined in, including someone who's name I cannot recall who introduced herself as "a baby doctor, but I probably don't need to be here"..

Much surgical stuff later (well, what felt like much later, but in real time was a matter of minutes) Daisy Dorothy May Perry was born, 08:47 27/03/09. 6lb 11oz ..

It was then that I heard possibly the most chilling words I think I have ever heard in my life. 

She's alive, but she's not perfect.

It rocked my world..

Unfortunately, at this point, no-one knew exactly what the problem was (or at least they didn't inform us) so a bit of flapping ensued in the theatre.  A paediatric registrar arrived, had a quick nose, applied a dressing of some description, swaddled Daisy and advised that we could hold her for a little while..

Cue this terrible photo... (RIM, sort out the cameras on BlackBerry devices!)

Daisy was then rushed down to NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) and hooked up to a number of monitors..

I was lost..
Trying to sort family out, keep them informed of what was going on when I actually didn’t know, trying to make sure Wife was OK, trying to work out if I was ok, smoking, shaking, crying..

A short while after Daisy was moved to NICU, we were joined in the recovery room by the head of Paediatric services, Wife had the benefit of copious amounts of post-op intra-muscular morphine. I had the clarity provided only by sheer adrenalin, nicotine and coffee.

I’ll never forget the words.. “OK, so you know about the Spina Bifida” … The WHAT??? We knew nothing…

“Your daughter has Spina Bifida, it is likely that her bowels and bladder will not work properly, it is very unlikely that she will walk and she will probably have intelligence problems.. “

Well, and you’ll have to excuse my language, thanks for dropping that fucking bomb shell..

At this point, I had no idea what the hell Spina Bifida was, let alone what impact it could have..

So as the day progressed it became apparent that Daisy would need an operation on her spine and would be moved from Worcester to Birmingham Children’s Hospital that day..

By 2000 I was in the car, mother in tow, heading up to Birmingham, red bull and nicotine coming out of my ears..

A swift meeting with a Neurological registrar to discuss what was to happen in the morning, and a kiss goodnight for Daisy..

It was only on the way home that what I’d been told during that day sunk in.. My Daughter has been born with Spina Bifida, in the form of a Myelomeningocele, meaning that spinal cord tissue was in a sack, outside her body, and that sack had burst..  The surgery the following morning was to put her spinal cord, back inside her spine and came with it’s own fair share of risks.. The potential for additional damage to be created by carrying out, what is intended to be, a repair, is quite scary, but what other option do you have…

Surgery the following morning went well and Daisy began showing her true character, only a few very small doses of pain killers were required to help her cope..

Further tests in the week that followed the procedure revealed that Daisy also has Hydrocephalus and a Type II Chiari malformation. At the time of hearing this, they made as much sense to me as they probably make to you now..  I’d explain it, but Google would do a better job..

Daisy came on in leaps and bounds that week, getting discharged quicker than any other baby that had been through that ward with the same condition.. A heartening thought..

Fast-forwarding from there, we hit May, my birthday, quick, let’s get it out of the way.. and Daisy back into hospital, but panic not, it was an Ecoli based UTI, serious, yes, but serious we can deal with..

Unfortunately, whilst Daisy was in hospital for the UTI, the Wife’s grandfather was in the hospital too, and during that stay he passed away.. A strange spectrum of life, from one end of the hospital to the other, from one end of life to the other…

I was there when he passed and felt strangely calm..

So, it’s now quarter to November and the year is nearly done..  You’ll notice by the lack of any crisis between May and the back end of October, that things are going very well.. Although Daisy has recently nearly wiped out the entire family having dragged a bug home from Nursery.. Her condition appears to be having no adverse affect on her development, she is doing everything she should when she should, if not before..

So there you have it, I’m older, not much wiser, probably a bit uglier.. but we’re doing bloody well …

Oh, and the drag racing? Yeah, we blew it up.. bugger… Oh well, we’re building a bigger and faster machine now… I’ll keep you posted on that one..

Here’s Dot..